Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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