Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
