new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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