ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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