hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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