morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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