i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You need Xanax blowdarts
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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