your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize