I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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