After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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