I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
