hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Randomize
