ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
