But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
