I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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