But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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