Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
