I'm pants shitting drunk right now
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
