And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
