Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
