i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
