just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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