Yo dont text me then not text me
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
