I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Why are your pants in the freezer?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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