she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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