atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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