If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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