Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
