Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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