After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We named our party play list daddy issues
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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