u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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