Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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