I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We left an ass print on the piano.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
