....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
