yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
