you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You need a sexual gate keeper
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
