so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
