He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
