do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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