I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
