Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
