This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
