note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
