if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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