I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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