I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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