We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
we made out on top of his cat.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
