Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
