my sisters under your porch take her home
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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