I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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