Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
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