Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
